


Eight Letters

by abigaru_chaaan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst?, I Don't Know Either, I Made Myself Cry, I hate myself wiee, M/M, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, again i don't know how to tag, i guess, idk if this is angsty enough for you, watch me mess with the tags lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:41:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24877114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abigaru_chaaan/pseuds/abigaru_chaaan
Summary: If all it is is eight letters,why is it so hard to say?If all it is is eight letters,why am I in my own way?Why do I pull you close,and then ask you for space?If all it is is eight letters,why is it so hard to say?
Relationships: Kageyama Tobio/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	Eight Letters

_**1** _

"Don't come and pick me up if we're just going to argue on the way home."

"Well maybe if you just shut up then none us will have anything to argue with in the first place."

"Eyes on the road, Tobio, come on!"

It was twelve in the midnight, both of them tired and fed up with their jobs continuously beating them up to work. Kageyama thought that picking his partner up would help him ease a bit, but it seems like it wasn't the case.

They barely saw each other's faces. Their off days aren't matching at all, and when one comes home, he would just catch up to the other one sleeping in the bedroom or sometimes, right next to the doorstep.

"But seriously though, would picking you up from work kill someone? We rarely see each other, I barely even had time talking to you like this." Kageyama kept looking forward, fight his heavy eyelids from closing anytime soon.

"I know that, but didn't I remind you that I have somewhere to go to before home tonight? You can't just shove me into the car in front of everyone like that."

"In five consecutive days?? Seriously?? Are you sure you're still doing office-related business out there?"

For some reason, Kageyama is slowly losing grip of the wheel.

"Ha?! Of course I am! Where and what else do you think I'm doing huh??"

"Well, I don't know!! Why don't you ask THAT Kuroo-san of yours huh? You've been spending a lot of time together right?!"

Slowly but surely, their harried voices became audible from outside the car.

"It's because we're in the same department! And he's my senior for god's sake! So that's what all this is huh? You're acting all jealous now?? Stop being so selfish King!!"

"Don't call me that!-"

Everything was cut off when suddenly something blindingly bright came flashing in front of them.

Everything happened so fast that even Tsukishima can't process any single thing. All he saw was Kageyama hurriedly dived into him for a hug, as if protecting him for something that's about to happen.

"T-tobio...?"

Kageyama just smiled sweetly. Hugging him tight, his lips quivered as he tried so hard to think of any words to say.

"I hope you won't hate me for this."

He shut his eyes, holding the blonde close to him. He ended up saying a different sentence, but he's sure for someone as smart as Tsukishima, he'll understand what Kageyama meant.

"Kei.."

Nothing followed but pitch black.

~~_"I am sorry."_ ~~

_**2** _

"Two new patients incoming, please don't block the hallway."

"Both are in a critical condition, they're from a car accident earlier near the highway. A bystander called the authorities."

"They need immediate help, please. The one who called the ambulance said that they called the victims' relatives too. They're now on their way."

Nothing but the voices of the paramedics echoing throughout the room are the ones Tsukishima can hear in the backround. He's already out of energy, and is now trusting all of his senses to his ear.

"Umm, I'm the older brother of the said victims from earlier, did you see them- Kei? Tobio?! Guys-"

"Sir, I'm sorry but you can't go beyond this point."

"N-niichan.."

"Kei! Hang in there!"

"Sir, please."

"N-nurse."

"One's regaining consciousness. Sir? Can you hear me?"

"Make sure... T-tobio's fine. Please.."

He ended up saying something else, but he made sure the nurse understood.

"We're doing everything we can, Sir."

Now reassured, he tried to restrain himself to not say anything else.

_Tobio..._

~~_"I'm scared."_ ~~

_**3** _

"How are you feeling?"

Tsukishima nearly jolts. He looked to his left where the sound came from and heard a snicker short after.

"Wow, getting scared because of that? My, Kei, you sure have fast reflexes."

"Shut up." Cheeks slightly heating up from what he just did. Letting his legs dangling off the bed, he freed himself from the thin blankets toppling over him.

"Don't just speak so suddenly. I didn't even hear you open the door."

"You're just too engrossed with something inside your mind. That's it."

"Well sorry, King."

"Don't call me that."

That sure brought up some horrible memories.

But he shrugged it off. Since that's just how Kei is.

"By the way, where's Akiteru-san?"

"He just left, he said we might also find a donor soon."

"Woah, that's good then!"

Tsukishima doesn't hear anything, but he felt Kageyama's cold touch on his hand. He squeezed back, and for a split second, it was warm.

"Yeah, I guess."

"Hmm, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, it'll just be horrible if I got used to this."

"Used to being blind huh? Don't worry Kei, we'll find one very soon."

He felt something cold around his shoulder, and for minute he just found himself hugging back.

"I really hope so."

He tried hard not to say anything else.

~~_"He is warm."_ ~~

_**4** _

"Hey, aren't you bored?"

"Even if I was, what can I do in this state huh?"

Faded honey brown eyes kept staring up, to which Tsukishima believed was the ceiling and continued playing with his fingers. Just for how long does he keep doing the same thing over and over again?

He had lost count.

"Say, Kei.."

A cold touch, once again never failed to make him flinch. His brows furrowed as he looked to his left while waiting for him to finish laughing.

"What now?"

"Wanna go somewhere?"

"And where would that be?"

Kageyama wrapped his arm around Tsukishima's and pulled him out of bed and before he knew it, he's standing in front of his room's door.

"You'll see."

* * *

"Oi, where are you taking me?"

Tsukishima cautiously walked through the hallway, one hand holding Kageyama's sleeve and the other clumsily feeling the wall beside him, worrying he might hit into someone else.

Counting his footsteps, he could hear the other patients and staff talking into the distance, minding their own business. But the blonde cannot focus on nothing but his steps echoing in his ears. So loud that he didn't even hear someone growing near him.

"Ow- Oh no, I'm so sorry. Are you alright Sir?"

"Don't mind it, I'm fine. I didn't notice you."

He looked down, not giving any evidence that he cannot see, he wasn't used to be pitied like that.

"Watch where you're going dude!"

He could hear Kageyama yelling at him, but the man's footsteps continued to fade until he can't hear it anymore.

"Now this is why I don't want to go outside." The blonde muttered, regretting that he came along with Kageyama's suggestion.

"Trust me Kei, it'll be worth it when we get there. Besides, we're already far from your ward. It's too late to back out now."

"Ugh, if you say so then."

He continued to walk, gripping the other guy's sleeve tighter than earlier. He kept counting the steps, holding himself back from saying anything else.

_Ugh._

~~_"Hate this."_ ~~

_**5** _

They made their way through the hospital and out of habit, Tsukishima counted almost two hundred steps before Kageyama finally stopped walking. He took it as a hint and raised his hand to reach for something.

His hand touched the cool, metal handle.

It must be the exit door.

"We're here. You did well, Kei."

Kageyama pushed the door and drew Tsukishima outside. The blonde was taken aback from the new atmosphere slapping his face with.

It doesn't smell of anything like bleach or antiseptics.

"We're in the hospital's garden. Let's go and take a seat."

Tsukishima can hear the birds, chirping above them and it's been a while since he smelled those freshly cut grass like in their backyard before.

It smells nice, he liked it.

"So??" Kageyama peaked through the side, waiting for the other to respond..

"Okay, I admit that this place is nice. Must be so pretty to look at."

Cold arms came snuggling beside the blonde as the other one answered.

"It sure is, so hurry up and get a donor."

Tsukishima snuggled back, it's warm.

"Hey, wanted to grab something to drink?"

Kageyama stood up, only to get pulled back down by some slender arms holding tightly on his cold ones.

He looked up to see Tsukishima closing his eyes, leaning back to the bench and breathing deeply, lips quivered into a small grin.

The blonde squished Kageyama's hands tighter, not saying any word.

~~_"Stay here."_ ~~

_**6** _

The two of them almost spent two hours sitting in a bench until they got cold and decided to go back to Tsukishima's ward. The staff already gave his dinner for tonight and now they're both ready to just rest.

"Finished eating?"

The blonde flinched, accidentally dropping a banana he was currently chewing on.

"My god, Tobio. Seriously?"

"Sorry, sorry. It's just so fun seeing you startled." The other apologized, picking the fruit up and tossing it into the bin.

"My, I'm flattered." Tsukishima deadpanned.

"Still surprised I'm not sensing any wave of boredom from you."

"Really now?" The blonde leaned back to the bed, tilting his head towards the direction he believed where the window was placed. As if looking out even if he can't see a single thing.

"I guess you can say I just got used to the hospital by now."

"Used, huh?"

"Why though?"

"Nothing, I just wanna make sure you don't feel like trapped in here or something. You looked like you don't want to leave the garden earlier."

"The smell of nature is nice, I like it."

"I know that part of you hasn't changed a single bit. Even if you're still a shut-in at your house, you still loved being outside sometimes do you?" Kageyama smiled a little.

"Maybe." Tsukishima pulled the covers over him, finally feeling tired from all they did today.

"Oh, you're going to bed now?"

"Yeah."

"Goodnight then." Cold pair of lips touched his forehead. Internally smiling at the sudden break of character, he closed his eyes, replying to the guy.

"Night, Tobio."

_"You still loved being outside sometimes do you?"_

He lips twitched, not letting any more words escape his mouth.

_Yeah-_

~~_"-I still do."_ ~~

_**7** _

"We finally found a donor for you, Tsukishima-san. Congratulations."

Tsukishima jolted up, the sound of the doors opening again made his chest go light. He might be able to leave this box now, finally.

But somehow, as soon as he heard the news, mixed feelings started to fill the void in his heart.

He's happy, for sure. But something's a little bit off for him.

"Sir?"

"I not actually in a position to ask but, do I perhaps know who the donor is?"

The nurse remained silent.

"It's Hinata Natsu-san, right?"

"We're not really allowed to say it for now, but yes. Are you close with her?"

"Yes.. W-well actually no, but.."

"Is there a problem with it, Sir?"

Tsukishima, now currently having a mental dilemma is searching for a certain cold presence inside the room.

"W-what happens if I refuse?"

"Then we'll give to the next person who needs it, Sir."

He wanted to at least shout, but he can't.  
He lightly clutched his fist, as to try not to say anything else.

_At times like this,_

_Tobio.._

~~_"I need you."_ ~~

_**8** _

"You alright?"

Tsukishima sighs, finally getting used to Kageyama's sudden statements out of nowhere.

"I guess.."

"I thought you can't wait to see again?" Kageyama muttered.

The blonde ran fingers through his hair. Head still hung low.

"Well, yeah.. I do."

"How did you know it was Natsu-chan?"

"Remember when Hinata said before that, they rushed her to the hospital, and she was diagnosed having some eye problem. I can't remember what it was, but I knew he said that she'll also be blind- just like me."

Kageyama tried to reminisce, there was indeed something like that going on with the Hinatas. He felt stupid by not noticing it soon.

"I know that some events like those in Hinata's side are inevitable, but I just can't imagine it would be Natsu-chan."

Cold hands slowly intertwined with his. He squeezed back. It's warm.

"She's still young, Tobio. She's still a kid and I'm.."

He squeezed harder. Internally thinking that maybe he'll get stuck in the hospital forever. He just can't get imagine it doing it to her. Maybe he'll just have to deal with this a little longer.

That is life, after all.

* * *

"Are you sure about this?"

They're outside, sitting at bench in the garden, again. Tsukishima wanted to get his mind out of everything that he finally memorized the number of steps from his ward to the exit door.

Tsukishima smiled, proud that he's not getting startled by Kageyama anymore.  
He just leaned back, enjoying the scent of nature around him.

"Yeah."

"You might never get chances like this again, you know.."

"Oya, is that concern I hear?"

Oh, how Kageyama missed that mocking voice of the blonde.

"Nope, not at all."

"It's fine really. I couldn't really do it after all." He squeezed Kageyama's cold hands, feeling the warmth grow inside his chest.

"Besides, I don't want to see everything again only to find out that.."

He stopped midway, slowly losing grip on the raven-haired guy's hand.

"That what, Kei?"

"That you never really survived the crash that day."

The wind blows, as Tsukishima faced the guy with his faded honey brown eyes. He heard the other guy sigh, then laughed a defeated chuckle.

"You're still sharp as usual, Kei."

"It's just obvious. You're cold, you don't make a damn noise, like at all, and people don't seem to acknowledge your presence. Just because I went blind doesn't mean I won't notice a thing."

"Haha, well I suppose that's true."

"I never even got to apologize to you that day. I shouldn't have said anything that time I got to the car."

"Damn, you're bringing that up now? It's already fine, we're both at fault that time."

"Yeah, sure." The blonde softly replied, grasping at the cold hands of the dead.

They both remained silent as leaves fall, Tsukishima knows it's already autumn, but deep inside he felt like spring had just begun.

* * *

"Hey, Tobio..?"

"Hm?"

"Stay with me, forever."

"Wow, that's a long time. Are you sure about that?"

"Do you really want me to repeat that cheesy line again?"

"Yes please."

"Then I won't ask ever again."

"..."

"Dumbass, whatever you're thinking. I've already decided on that. I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying."

"Longer than what I asked?"

"Want me to take it back?"

"Absolutely not."

Cold arms then came hugging the blonde, and Tsukishima didn't hesitate to hug back.

It's warm.

"I'll always watch over you, okay?"

Tsukishima nodded, blushing and trying not say anything else.

~~_"I love you."_ ~~

Just like leaves freely flowing along the wind, both of them wondered if they'll ever get to say those words out loud in the future.

Though no matter if it was said out loud or not, both of them knew it was to keep them together.

**_"If all it is is eight letters,_ **  
**_why is it so hard to say?"_ **

**Author's Note:**

> Was listening to the song when the idea of this crossed my mind (i mean ofc h  
> when and how else would I get it anyways lmao) and started to scribble it out back then before the idea goes trash.
> 
> And the rest of the story? Don't ask me, it just came out, I don't know either HAHAHA
> 
> Anyways, stay safe and thank you for reading~


End file.
